


your heart is broken cause i walked away

by flow3rs



Series: lost but not found [3]
Category: High School Musical: The Musical: The Series (TV)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Crying, Dogs, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Infidelity, M/M, Sad, Unhealthy Relationships, nini deserves better, she's a very good dog, so does ej
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:46:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25533076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flow3rs/pseuds/flow3rs
Summary: Nini was never one to be insecure in her relationships.Whether they be romantic, platonic, or familial: she didn’t have a reason to question them. She knew she loved the people around her and she knew the people around her loved her back.That was, until she started dating Ricky.
Relationships: Ricky Bowen/E.J. Caswell, Ricky Bowen/Nini Salazar-Roberts
Series: lost but not found [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1838596
Comments: 24
Kudos: 46





	your heart is broken cause i walked away

**Author's Note:**

> hello! if you haven't read the other works in this series, this will not makes sense because like half the lines in this fic are taken from the previous fics and reworded to fit nini's pov LMFAO. as you can see this is definitely a lot longer than the other fics in this series because 1. nini deserves it after all i've made her go through and 2. because nini is an overthinker, a dreamer, and has a huge imagination that most definitely needed to be explored in this series. i love the version of her i've created for this fic and i hope you love it as well, albeit being a bit sad.
> 
> im extremely proud of this fic and i very much hope you all enjoy it. there's honestly not much rj in this but despite that i definitely think this is one of the best things i've ever written in my life and i hope you can see how much work and feelings and life experience i put into it.
> 
> title from "sandcastles" by beyonce

Nini was never one to be insecure in her relationships.

Whether they be romantic, platonic, or familial: she didn’t have a reason to question them. She knew she loved the people around her and she knew the people around her loved her back.

She was never one to be insecure in her relationships.

That was, until she started dating Ricky.

There were times she wished they never started a romantic relationship in the first place; that they just remained the childhood best friends that they were always meant to be. That’s where they were their best: as friends. They supported each other through everything, would go to the ends of the Earth for each other. Nini would even go as far as to say that she would die for him.

That’s why they thought dating would go well in the first place. It seemed inevitable; childhood bestfriends, first crushes, kindergarten love turned high school sweethearts. Soulmates, is what they used to call each other. Meant for each other.

But soulmates, she learned, didn’t have to be romantic.

The day she met Kourtney, Nini knew that the other girl would be her best friend for life. They weren’t the same; but they complimented each other perfectly. Where Nini was shy and sometimes afraid to say what she felt, Kourtney was outspoken and always said what was on her mind. Where Nini did what she was told; what she was supposed to, Kourtney said ‘fuck the system.’ Where Nini was sometimes oblivious to anyone but herself, Kourtney humbled her and brought her back down to Earth.

Kourtney was her soulmate. And so was Ricky.

But because of the horribly cheesy movies she loved to watch; the cliche musicals she adored listening to, she figured: Ricky was a guy who was also her best friend whom she always kind of thought was attractive. So, by the rules of Hollywood, she was supposed to end up with him, right?

And when they began dating, it was perfect. It was just like the movies. It was her own little  _ 13 Going on 30  _ moment; Ricky was the Mark Ruffalo to her Jenifer Garner, the Peter Parker to her Mary Jane, the Ron Weasley to her Hermione Granger.

Nothing between them changed; they still loved each other the exact same way, still admired each other the same, supported each other the same. Just this time, with a lot more kisses.

But that was just it. Nothing between them changed.

The first time they kissed, she didn’t feel the electric spark that she was expecting; didn’t get the butterflies in her stomach that she got when she watched Tobey McGuire hang upside down in his Spiderman suit and kiss Kirsten Dunst in the rain. Didn’t feel the excitement she felt when she watched Ron and Hermione kiss in the Chamber of Secrets after destroying a horcrux. It was just a kiss.

That was fine with her; she knew real life wasn’t ever  _ really  _ like the movies. So she just accepted the fact that nothing special happened between her and Ricky and figured it was normal.

Except when they broke up the first time, then things started to change.

While they were together, it was just their friendship plus a little more intimacy. So she thought that when they broke up, everything would just go back to normal. They would be the same old best friends that they always had been. But she was wrong.

Because when they broke up, they stopped talking. The daily texts turned into radio silence, the everyday hangouts turned into a summer spent apart, and even the platonic touches turned into miles of distance in between them.

She missed him.

That was ultimately the reason why she wanted to get back together with Ricky after the musical. Rehearsals felt like old times; singing together, smiling at each other, being stupid for hours. Rehearsals felt like she had her best friend back. Nini wanted her best friend back.

And it had seemed Ricky wanted her back too. 

“I love you! And that night in your room when you told me you loved me, I meant to say it. I meant to say it! And I’ve kicked myself everyday since then because I didn’t say it. But I do. I love you,” he declared, and she ate it up.

Grabbed his face in her hands and pulled him in for a passionate kiss. And she thought it was perfect. She thought it was all she ever wanted. She thought it was what she had been waiting for this whole time.

Except that, it was just a kiss. It lacked the same electric spark that she thought she would finally feel; had the outward appearance of the fairytale ending she was hoping for, but something felt off about it and she wasn’t quite sure what. However, she chose to ignore it, wanting to revel in the post-show bliss instead.

Nini also chose to ignore when she saw EJ walk into the dressing room a few minutes after she had left Ricky. They were friends now and EJ didn’t have feelings for her anymore so he was probably just going in to congratulate Ricky on a great performance and...for getting the girl. 

Yeah. That was it.

She wasn’t entirely surprised when the two boys became friends over the rehearsal period. Two emotionally inept white boys with internalized Asian fetishes and horrible communication skills. They were a lot more alike than they initially thought.

Sometimes she wished things with EJ had worked out, but she never felt the soulmate connection with the senior like she did with Ricky. Being with him was nice, though. He was sweet and attentive and supportive and always put her first. He loved calling her  _ princess _ when they were together. Liked to treat her like one too.

But EJ was insecure; had his heart broken previously, didn’t have much experience with  _ real _ love in his life. Didn’t know how to handle his feelings. And that, in the end, is why they didn’t work out.

Nini was never one to be insecure in her relationships.

Why would she need to be? She and Ricky were back together and it was picture perfect. Ricky was  _ all _ about her. He put his arm around her when they watched a movie in her living room, booped her nose when they baked cookies together, peppered kisses all over her cheeks when she’d play him a new song she wrote.

Everything with Ricky was innocent and sweet and heartfelt and full of love.

But she was beginning to suspect that it wasn’t enough for Ricky.

Because one night, he went to a party.

He was bored, it was a Saturday, and she was out of state with her moms.

They usually called each other late in the night for one last conversation, bidding  _ goodnights _ and  _ see you tomorrows _ and  _ I love yous _ . She called him a little later than usual and was surprised he even picked up, thought he would probably be dead asleep by then.

Their phone call was fine, the sound of Ricky’s tired voice making her smile. She was lost in thought about how cute he probably looked all snuggled up in his comforter getting ready for bed.

“What’d you do tonight since I wasn’t around?” she asked quietly, sitting in the bathroom of the hotel room she was sharing with her moms and trying her hardest not to wake them up as she twirled her hair around her fingers.

“Nothing much. I went to a party. I hung out with EJ actually. He didn’t try to kill me so that was nice.”

She froze. EJ at a party? Not surprising. Ricky at a party? A little more surprising. Ricky and EJ hanging out at a party together? She never thought she’d see the day.

But then she remembered that they were kind of friends now and that they had no reason to hate each other and that there was no reason for her to be worried about it. It’s not like Ricky was slurring his words and he didn’t seem to be drunk over the phone or anything. He was smart and knew how to take care of himself. EJ...was a notorious partier but if Ricky was fine, he probably was too.

She realized she had stayed silent for a few seconds too long and forced out a laugh, “I’m glad you guys are actually getting along. I always knew you two were a lot more similar than you thought.”

There was silence on the other end of the line before Ricky responded, “Yeah, we are. Aren’t we?”

She didn’t know when the conversation started to feel uncomfortable, but she felt the tension through the phone.

“Well, anyway,” she cleared her throat, bringing back the best bubbly voice she could muster. “I’m gonna let you get some sleep. You’re probably tired from that party.”

“Yeah,” Ricky chuckled, low in his throat. “You know EJ, he’s...energetic.”

She blinked. “Mhm. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Ninz.”

“I love you, Ricky.”

She wasn’t sure if she imagined the pause before he spoke or if it actually happened. “I love you, too.”

Nini ended the call before the conversation could be dragged on any further, breathing deeply. Careful to not make any noise, she stepped out of the bathroom and got into her bed, ignoring the beating of her heart and forcing herself to sleep.

She was never one to be insecure in her relationships.

Not until Ricky went to that party.

She was beginning to feel crazy, overthinking the phone call and reliving it in her mind over and over again. Why did he hesitate so much when she asked him questions? Why did he pause before saying he loved her? Why did he say EJ was  _ energetic _ ? Did EJ pressure him to do something at the party?

Did Ricky cheat on her at the party?

There was no way. Ricky would never. But she knew that sometimes EJ could be a bad influence. She could picture the senior at the party trying to convince Ricky to  _ let go _ and  _ just have fun _ and telling him,  _ Nini’s not here, you can do whatever you want _ .

She shook her head as she laid in Ricky’s bed, trying to rid her brain of the intrusive thoughts. They had just watched a movie and Ricky had left to go to the bathroom, leaving her alone in his room.

Nini knew she honestly had no reason to be thinking this way; nothing weird had even happened since the phone call and Ricky was acting the way he always did when they were together. 

He had been in the bathroom for a while now, probably taking a shit because he ate four scoops of ice cream during the movie, despite being lactose intolerant. ( _ “You’re gonna regret that,”  _ she had warned.  _ “I’ll be fine, Ninz.” _ )

She looked around his room and froze as she noticed he left his phone on his bedside table. She cringed as a part of her brain told her to take it, to look through his messages and see if she could find anything incriminating.  _ God, EJ really is a bad influence, isn’t he? _

Nini ignored those thoughts, staring at the ceiling for a few more seconds before her resolve crumbled. She sat up in the bed and grabbed the phone quickly, pressing the home button. She cursed under her breath, realizing she forgot what his passcode was. Despite that, she sighed a breath of relief as the only notifications on Ricky’s home screen were a 15% off UberEats alert, a zodiac reading from Co-Star, and a comment on one of his Instagram posts from his cousin.

She was about to put the phone back down on the table when suddenly a text appeared.

egg jizz (ej ❤️ ):  _ hey _

egg jizz (ej ❤️ ):  _ wyd _

egg jizz (ej ❤️ ):  _ r u with nini rn? _

Her eyebrows knit together but before she could think too much about the messages, she heard footsteps walking toward the door and quickly locked Ricky’s phone, placing it back on the nightstand and lying back down on the bed.

“Sorry, that ice cream really did a number on me,” Ricky joked easily, walking back into the room.

“I told you,” she smirked, staring at the ceiling and pretending like she didn’t just snoop on his phone.

He pushed her shoulder gently before stretching his arms and yawning, “Um no. You told me I would regret eating the ice cream. I took a fat shit but that was worth how good it tasted. I have no regrets.”

Nini laughed, covering her mouth with her hand as he looked at her with crinkled eyes. Her laughter seized however, when Ricky picked up his phone to check his notifications. She froze as she watched his face shift to something more serious as he looked at his text messages. He glanced at her briefly before typing out a quick reply, locking the phone, and stuffing the device in his pocket.

Before she could make any comment about his strange behavior, he plastered a smile back onto his face and jumped on top of her on the bed, making her squeal as he wiggled his fingers into her stomach and tickled her mercilessly. She laughed so hard she forgot about the way he acted just a few seconds prior.

She almost forgot about the incident completely until a few weeks later.

Rehearsals for  _ Beauty and the Beast _ were in full swing, so the cast decided to have a watch party for the films and EJ offered to host it at his house. Ricky picked Nini up and drove them in his shitty car, the two of them blasting the  _ Newsies _ soundtrack on the way there and singing at the top of their lungs.

They finally reached the Caswell residence and walked up to the front door hand in hand, skipping down the pathway like idiots and continuing to sing about how they were going to  _ seize the day! _ when the front door opened suddenly. EJ stood in the doorway, smiling bright as he yelled something at someone inside. The smile momentarily dropped, however, as he turned and saw the two of them holding hands.

Ricky coughed uncomfortably before pointedly ripping his hand from Nini’s grasp. She gave him a weird look but ignored it as EJ plastered another smile on his face and welcomed them inside.

_ Is EJ still jealous of Ricky? I thought he would be over me by now, _ she thought to herself as they crossed the threshold of the house.

The hangout seemed to be in full swing with everyone squeezed into the living room, chattering excitedly and sharing bowls of popcorn. EJ hit Ricky’s shoulder and walked past Nini and him, not looking back at them as he told them where the food was and disappearing down the hallway.

She was about to ask Ricky why EJ was acting so weird when she was interrupted by the sound of a bark and heard the telltale pattering of paws on the hardwood floor. Her eyes widened in fear and she almost screamed as a giant german shepherd came running toward her.

Before any noise could leave her mouth however, Ricky ran towards the dog excitedly, crouching down to catch it in a hug as it barked. The dog’s tail wagged uncontrollably, licking Ricky’s face as the boy laughed with crinkled eyes and pet the canine furiously.

“Hewwo, Woona!” Ricky crooned in a baby voice that made Nini’s eyebrows raise. “You’re such a good girl, aren’t you?? Who’s a good girl?  _ You are,  _ Woona! You are!!”

Nini crossed her arms over her chest. “That dog sure seems excited to see you,” she commented nonchalantly.

“Yeah, she’s so cute! Isn’t she?” Ricky praised, scratching behind the german shepherd’s ear as it’s tongue flopped out of its mouth.

“It kinda seems like she knows you. It’s almost like she missed you or something.”

Ricky momentarily paused before continuing to pet the dog. “You know how it is,” he shrugged. “All dogs love me.”

“What’s her name again?” Nini asked, crouching to pet the dog as it’s head tilted, looking at her in curiosity.

“Woona. Well, it’s  _ supposed _ to be Luna but EJ couldn’t really say his L’s when he was younger, so.”

Nini froze, looking at Ricky with narrowed eyes. “How do you even know that?”

Ricky didn’t look at her as he continued petting Woona, mouth opening and closing as he tried to find the right words to say. He shook his head, laughing to himself cynically before replying, “EJ and I are friends now, remember?”

She stood up, moving to sit with the rest of the drama kids on the couch. “Didn’t seem like that when he answered the door for us,” she muttered to herself, back turned to him.

The rest of the night went by rather uneventfully. Nini didn’t mention EJ or the dog again as Ricky came to sit next to her on the couch, putting an arm around her as the movie played. She ignored the way she felt EJ’s icy glare on them as he sat on the other end of the couch. Woona tried to hop on the seat a few times so that she could cuddle up with Ricky but the boy shooed her away reluctantly and she resolved to lying next to EJ, resting her head in his lap as he pet her head softly.

Nini continued to watch the screen in front of her but her eyes were glazed over, not really retaining any of the movie that was playing. She was broken out of her daze when she saw EJ get up from where he was sitting and head to the kitchen, Woona on his tail. She waited a few seconds, looking at Ricky in her peripheral vision and let out a breath when Ricky got up from his seat as well.

“I’m gonna get more popcorn,” he muttered to her, before heading to the kitchen. She didn’t bother replying.

Nini kept her eyes glued to the tv but couldn’t help it when her gaze shifted, sensing movement coming from the kitchen. She turned her head only slightly to catch what was happening.

EJ and Ricky stood across from each other, Ricky’s arms crossed over his chest and jaw tight as EJ pointed an accusatory finger at him. She could tell the senior was angry at Ricky; from his knitted brows, the veins popping out in his forehead, the flare of his nostrils. The pair yelled at each other but she couldn’t catch what they were saying over the surround sound speaker in EJ’s living room.

Nini was usually one to mind her own business, but with the way Ricky had been acting lately, she couldn’t help but continue to watch them. She could see EJ stepping closer to Ricky, getting in his face. She could see Woona circling around the two boys’ feet, looking up at them in confusion as they fought. She could see EJ’s lip trembling and his eyes start to turn glassy.

She wasn’t able to see any more, however, when Ricky stepped into EJ’s space angrily, walking them behind the threshold of the kitchen and out of her sight. She tore her eyes back to the movie and pretended like she didn’t see anything.

Ricky emerged from the kitchen a few minutes later, cheeks red and hair a little messier than it was before, jaw clenched with tension. The bowl in his hand was empty.

She glanced at him in the corner of her eye as he plopped back down on the couch next to her. “Forget the popcorn?” she mused.

He looked down at the bowl in his hand as if he had never seen it before and cursed under his breath. “Shit,” he mumbled, shaking his head at himself and getting back up to go to the kitchen at the same time EJ came back to sit at his place on the floor. He brought his knees to his chest and let Woona rest her head on his legs once again. He looked at the dog like it was the only thing that understood him in the world. Nini guessed she probably was.

She was never one to be insecure in her relationships.

Whether they be romantic, platonic, or familial: she didn’t have a reason to question them. She knew she loved the people around her and she knew the people around her loved her back.

At least, she thought she knew that.

Until she started dating Ricky (the second time).

After the phone call, the text messages, the dog, and the fight-- Nini understood that something was going on with Ricky and EJ. She wasn’t stupid.

She just chose to ignore it until it posed a serious threat. She was selfish and wanted Ricky for as long as she could have him. She had already lost her best friend once; she didn’t want to lose him again so soon.

Unfortunately, her unbecoming came sooner than she’d thought it would.

It was a Saturday in March. The sun was starting to come alive from the death of a Salt Lake City winter; leaves were beginning to grow back on the bigtooth maple trees and the grass was looking greener than ever, nourished by the snow that had melted into the ground.

It was beautiful out. So she and Ricky went on a picnic date in the park; she wore a short pink sundress and they pranced around the grass barefoot singing old school Jonas Brothers songs and spinning around with their food forgotten on the picnic blanket. It was like a real-life version of the scene in  _ High School Musical 2 _ , when Troy and Gabriella got in trouble for dancing in the sprinklers of the golf course. That’s what she’d always wanted with Ricky, wasn’t it? A movie. 

Her Spiderman, her Ron Weasley, her Mark Ruffalo. Her Troy. Ricky was her Troy.

They had to go their separate ways before the evening came, Nini busy with piano lessons. But she smiled the whole time they were together, and she smiled the whole drive to the studio. She forgot why she ever felt suspicious of Ricky in the first place. How could he be doing her any wrong if he made her feel this way? She was happier with him than she had been in a while.

When she was finally let out of her class, she had a bounce to her step; still happy from their date, still happy from how Ricky kissed her hand and told her she was beautiful. 

She was at stoplight, fingers drumming along the steering wheel as Taylor Swift crooned from the speakers in her car, when she turned and saw Ricky’s favorite burger joint. Nini lit up and before the light could turn green, checked Ricky’s location on her phone.  _ Perfect _ , she thought to herself as she looked on the map and saw that he was at home.  _ I can surprise him, then _ .

Pulling into the drive through, she ordered Ricky’s usual along with a milkshake (even though she knew he would have to take a fat shit after) and drove to his house happily, singing along unabashedly to the music playing.

Ricky was not easy to love. Nini knew that. He was stubborn, hard headed, horrible at communication, horrible at understanding his own feelings. But she was willing to grow with him through that; willing to support her best friend, to go to the ends of the Earth for him.

She had once thought that he would do the same for her.

She was wrong.

She learned that the hard way, when he broke up with her the first time.

And as she stood outside the door of Ricky’s bedroom, she was learning it the hard way again.

“Yes.  _ Yes, _ I love you. So much,” Ricky whispered, looking into EJ’s eyes.

Her jaw clenched.

“You know how much I care about Nini. I can’t stand hurting her,” he said, and stroked EJ’s wet cheeks.

She gripped the paper takeout bag in her hand tighter.

“You promised me, Ricky.  _ You promised _ …” EJ sobbed into Ricky’s shoulder. “You said you would break up with her…”

She tore her eyes away from them and looked at the ground.

Ricky held EJ’s face in his hands, “And I will. I _ promise _ will. Because I love  _ you _ , okay? I love  _ you _ and I want to be with  _ you _ .”

She turned on her heel quietly, walking down the stairs and out of the house as quickly as she could.

She had seen enough.

It was dark out. The sun from earlier in the day had gone back to rest. It was tired. So was Nini.

She sat in her car and stared silently ahead.

Nini chuckled to herself cynically. When she said she wanted a movie, she didn’t mean a Nicholas Sparks romantic teen drama. She didn’t mean Miley Cyrus singing in the rain about the loss of a loved one. She didn’t mean heartbreak.

She swallowed past the lump in her throat, turned on her car, and drove away.

Nini was never one to be insecure in her relationships.

Whether they be romantic, platonic, or familial: she didn’t have a reason to question them. She knew she loved the people around her and she knew the people around her loved her back.

But she forgot that Ricky was hard to love.

And she was selfish. She allowed herself one more week of loving him before she had to end it all.

Nini sat on the edge of Ricky’s bed, adjusting her ponytail and staring blankly at the white wall in front of her as she waited for him to come out of the bathroom. They had made out, slow and sweet, just how she liked. She savored it because she knew it would be the last one.

He skipped back into the room, bright smile plastered on his face. “So what movie do you wanna watch?” he asked enthusiastically. 

_ Poor Ricky _ , she thought to herself. But she didn’t feel bad at all.

She tilted her head at the wall in front of her, face void of any expression.

“I know you’re cheating on me.”

He froze where he stood in front of her, the bounce in his step suddenly gone.

“I know you’re fucking around with EJ.”

The color drained from his face. She still didn’t look at him.

“W-What?” he choked out.

A laugh escaped her. It didn’t have the same ring to him that it had a few months ago. She finally turned, looking at him in the eyes. “I saw you two. I saw you naked in  _ this _ bed that you just kissed me on.”

Ricky fumbled with his words but she didn’t let him speak.

“I heard you tell him you love him and that you want to be with him. I heard you make a promise to him that you still haven’t fulfilled,” her voice cracked and she felt her eyes sting with tears.

“Nini--”

“No!” she yelled. “How  _ dare _ you! How dare you have the nerve to say you care about me and that you don’t want to hurt me! If you didn’t want to hurt me you wouldn’t be doing this in the first place!”

His eyebrows knit together as he yelled back at her, “So you’ve known for, what, a week? And you still stayed with me and let me act all lovey dovey with you??”

“ _ Excuse me?!? _ ” she scoffed, getting to her feet. “You don’t get to do that. You don’t get to tell me that it’s my fault--”

“I never said it was your fault--”

“No! You don’t get to act like I’m not allowed to end this relationship on whatever terms  _ I  _ want to end them on. I can do whatever I want! I could’ve stayed with you for weeks more while knowing what you were doing to me and I would’ve let you  _ suffer! _ ”

“So, what?!” he shouted, throwing his hands in the air. “Why don’t we just end both our  _ suffering _ then? Let’s break up!”

She laughed but it had no warmth to it. “You are  _ not _ breaking up with me.  _ I  _ am breaking up with  _ you _ . You could’ve broken up with me  _ weeks _ ago but you were too much of a coward. You’ve always been too much of a coward to say what you feel! And now not only am I getting hurt, but you’ve been leading EJ on for weeks now!”

“Don’t act like you know how he feels!” Ricky fumed.

“I don’t need to act because I  _ do _ know, remember? I saw him cry on your shoulder and  _ beg _ you to break up with me. And you still haven’t done it!?!” she said incredulously. “I mean when were you planning on doing it?? Next month? Next year? You have him wrapped around your finger and you have me following you around like a lost puppy. Don’t you  _ dare _ act like all of this isn’t your fault!”

Nini didn’t realize how hard she was crying until hiccups formed in her throat. She wiped her tears vehemently as she and Ricky stood across from each other. They were a foot apart but it felt like there was miles of distance in between them.

She sniffled as her tears became quiet. “How long?” she whispered. “How long has it been going on?”

His jaw clenched. “Since that party. We were hooking up before you and I got back together and we stopped but—“

Ricky didn’t have to finish his sentence for her to understand.

She hesitated to ask her next question. “Since when did— Since when did you even like boys?”

“I don’t know. I don’t— I don’t really know if I like boys,” he sighed, closing his eyes. “I just like EJ.”

The last part came out quieter, like it was a secret no one in the world was allowed to know.

“Do you love him?”

His eyes snapped open. He looked at her with the same expression he had when he told her he loved her in the dressing room after opening night. He didn’t have to say anything for her to know the answer.

“I’m sorry.”

She gave him a sad smile. “Not sorry enough to not do it, Ricky,” she choked out.

He blinked and a silent tear ran down his cheek. She didn’t feel sorry for him.

With a sigh, she began gathering her things; as she went around the room collecting all her belongings, she couldn’t help but cry silently. She knew this room so well; knew him so well. It kinda felt like the last time she would ever see him.

Ricky hadn’t moved from his spot in the time she had spent getting ready to leave, staring at the ground with wet cheeks.

She coughed quietly as she stood in front of him one last time, bringing his attention back to her. “I’m not gonna tell you what to do from here. I’m not gonna tell you not to be with EJ because that’s not fair to him. I’m not gonna tell anyone what you did to me. Because you  _ know _ every one of our friends loves drama. You  _ know  _ they would eat this up and drag it out and turn it into something it’s not.”

He looked at her, waiting for her to finish with glassy eyes.

“But what it is, is that you hurt me. And I’m breaking up with you. And that’s it.”

She took a deep breath before continuing, looking him straight in the eyes as she spoke.

“I want to say that we can still be friends after this, Ricky. I really do. But I don’t think I’m ready to forgive you for this. I don’t even know if I can, to be honest.”

She no longer felt the need to cry.

She may no longer be secure in her relationship, but she sure as hell was secure in her decision to end it.

“I wish things could be different. I wish it didn’t have to end this way. I wish you didn’t do what you did. But you did. And now I have to do what I need to do.”

He didn’t try to stop her as she walked to his door, hand reaching out to grab the doorknob before pausing and looking back at him one last time.

“I love you, Ricky. I’ll always love you.”

And with that, she walked out of the room, head held high and leaving him with only the sound of his own breathing.

Ricky was not easy to love.

But he was very easy to lose.

*****

They didn’t speak for weeks. Didn’t look at each other. They might as well have not even existed in the same plane of reality.

Everyone knew they broke up.

Everyone, however, also knew that this time it was different.

They did not have the same dynamic between them that they had when they weren’t together during High School Musical. There was no playful competition, no romantic wooing, no gestures to get back with each other. 

There was a sort of untouchable tension between Ricky and Nini that everyone somehow knew was not allowed to be played with. That if anyone even dared to put their hand in that fire, they would not only be burned but incinerated.

That was okay with Nini. No one needed to know what happened between them. Not even Kourtney.

She was fine after they broke up. They didn’t share many classes so it was easy to avoid Ricky during school most days. She no longer had the energy to be petty to people she hated, so rehearsals went on mostly unbothered. She didn’t see him often and she was okay with that.

Until one day, in the hallway.

Ricky’s back was against the locker and EJ leaned across from him, one arm resting above Ricky’s shoulder as they stood in each other’s personal space. They looked at each other the way they both looked at her at one point. Like they were each other’s universe.

It hurt. Not as much as she thought it would but it still hurt. She guessed they finally got their shit together and made it official. She didn’t hate it but she didn’t love it and she had to admit that they looked cute. She just wished they hadn’t decided to be cute with each other while she was still with Ricky.

Nini stood quietly at the end of the hallway, observing silently, unnoticed. Just like when she caught them. They didn’t see her, too caught up in each other to notice anyone but themselves. 

They leaned in for a kiss and her heart broke a little; they closed their eyes and smiled before their lips even met. Ricky held EJ’s chin between his fingers, holding him here. Ricky used to do that to her.

So EJ and Ricky were dating and it was fine. Everyone loved them together and she didn’t make any noise of opposition towards it, so everyone voiced how much they loved them together out loud. She smiled along and pretended it didn’t hurt.

Opening night was amazing; Gina was a perfect Belle and Seb was a perfect Beast. Kourtney was the best damn Mrs. Potts she’d ever seen and Nini had never been prouder to have her as a soulmate. Everyone else was amazing too. She couldn’t really remember because her eyes had begun to glaze over before Act 2.

The cast party was being held at the Caswell residence and as she stepped through the threshold she couldn’t help but think about the last time she was there.

She was reminded of it when she looked across the living room and saw EJ and Ricky wrapped up in each other; EJ’s arms around Ricky’s waist and Ricky holding EJ’s face between his palms. They looked at each other like they were the only people in the room. One kiss. Another.

And then the sound of a bark and the telltale pattering of paws on a hardwood floor.

Woona ran around the boys in excitement, tail wagging and tongue out. Ricky separated from EJ instantly, bending down with crinkled eyes to greet her and scratching behind her ear while using his stupid baby voice. EJ looked at him and Nini knew he was in love with Ricky just by the fond expression on his face.

She turned away and sat on the couch next to Kourtney, looking anywhere but the dog. She had never hated an animal more. 

The rest of the night went on. They did things and watched stuff and ate food. She didn’t really know what. She stopped paying attention the moment EJ plopped down on the ground and pulled Ricky into the V of his legs, wrapping his arms around Ricky’s middle.

“ _ Ugh _ , be cute somewhere else please! This is me and Seb’s cute zone!” Carlos teased at the new couple, making everyone around them laugh. Nini didn’t laugh.

“I love you guys together so much it’s disgusting,” Gina said in a monotone voice, but her lips showed the hint of a smile.

Ashlyn piped up from next to her, genuine as ever, “I just love seeing my friends happy.”

EJ’s arms tightened around Ricky and he planted a sloppy kiss onto the junior’s cheek. Ricky swatted him away, pretending he didn’t like it. But the smile on his face said otherwise.

Nini’s breath came out in rapid puffs, her chest tight. She couldn’t watch another second of it. She quietly excused herself, heading down the hallway and walking into the first open room she could find. From the trophies, the medals, the Broadway posters—she could tell it was EJ’s room. She laughed quietly to herself.  _ I wonder how many times Ricky cheated on me in here _ , she thought cynically.

She whipped around when she heard the door behind her opening, coming face to face with Ricky.

He closed the door behind him and they stood there staring at each other with a specific sadness in their eyes that she couldn’t quite place.

“Hey,” he said quietly.

“Hi.”

“Are you okay?”

_ You suddenly care _ ? she thought. “Yup. I’m good.”

He took a small step towards her. She stayed in her spot. 

“...How are you?” he asked.

She wanted to laugh but she kept her poker face. “I’m great. How are you?”

This was the first time they spoke since she broke up with him.

“I’m— I’m actually great, too,” he stuttered, like he didn’t want to admit that everything in his life was going perfectly fine. She wished she could say the same for herself.

“How’s EJ?” she asked, no malice in her voice.

Ricky looked down at the ground, avoiding her gaze, but a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “I— Yeah. He’s amazing.”

Nini smiled despite herself. They stood there smiling softly at each other before she spoke again. “Does he know?”

“Know? Does he know what?” he wondered, eyebrows knit together.

“Does he know that I’m the one that had to break up with you? That you couldn’t bring yourself to do it?” she said, surprised that she was able to keep her voice level. “Does he know that the only reason you’re happy together is because of me?”

Ricky's jaw clenched. “No,” he replied truthfully.

She let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. “Good. Keep it that way. He deserves to be happy.”

He looked at her with a steady gaze but remained silent.

She tore her eyes away from him and walked past him, reaching for the doorknob so she could leave. She had dejavu to the day she broke up with him.

Nini looked back at Ricky one last time; the boy she once thought she loved, her perfect movie romance, her once soulmate, her kindergarten love. He turned to look at her, brown eyes that could melt her heart and had done so many times.

“I’m happy for you, too, Ricky. I really am,” she began. And she meant every word she said.

His brown eyes became glassy as she spoke and her voice broke at the sight.

“I just wish your happiness didn’t have to come at the expense of mine.”

*****

Ricky finally had everything he wanted.

He sat in EJ’s living room, said Caswell’s arms wrapped around him, his back to EJ’s front. They all laughed at something Carlos said, the sounds echoing around the room.

There was one laugh missing, however. One laugh that was once music to his ears, that could light up his day if he heard it. There was a ring to it.

EJ leant down, nuzzled his face into Ricky’s neck and pressed a kiss into his skin. Whispered “ _ I love you”  _ into the curls behind his ear so that only he could hear. Caressed a thumb over the bones of his knuckle where their hands were intertwined in front of them.

He looked at Nini. She was smiling at something Kourtney whispered into her ear. It was the first time her smile met her eyes in weeks.

Ricky looked up at EJ and their eyes met. He could look at those green eyes for days and never get bored. He could be held in the strength of EJ’s shoulders forever and never want to leave. He loved those shoulders. 

It was perfect. It was all he ever wanted. It was what he had been waiting for this whole time.

He may have lost Nini.

But Ricky found EJ.

He didn’t feel guilty.

**Author's Note:**

> ok but...if i wrote a fic based on the dog's perspective...would anyone read it 👁👄👁
> 
> LMFAO JK
> 
> ...unless?
> 
> anyway hope you all enjoyed this and caught all the references to the previous stories and im sorry its so sad but like...who isnt a sucker for some depressing shit once in a while
> 
> [listen to the playlist inspired by this fic here!](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5ouBlUqKte2PzZf6F7LaCH?si=7DAh65vSSiW2VcBXMekIpA)


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